Thursday, August 02, 2007

What's Love Got to Do With It?

Age of Love and Rock of Love (with Bret Michaels)

Whooo boy, is there some quality television out there for us, people.

These two shows, Age of Love and Rock of Love (with Bret Michaels) I have to admit I wasn't planning on getting sucked into. I have to blame this all on the Hubby, who asked me to TiVo Age of Love for him and watched Rock of Love while I was away on a business trip to BlogHer. The moral here is that you should never, ever let your husband anywhere near the remote. Just give him one with no batteries so he feels like he has control, but he really doesn't. It's better for all concerned. Trust me.

So, Age of Love. Some tennis goober named Mark Whosewhatsits (Philippoussis) thinks he's going on a dating show, which he is. What he doesn't know is that the producers have set him up with 6 women between the ages of 20-30 and 30-50 - the kittens versus the cougars. I didn't say that, they did.

Pardon me while I clean the barf off my keyboard.

Now, to the credit of the 40 year olds, they are HOT. When I grow up, and become 40+, I want to look just like they do. Honestly, they all looked better in some way, shape or form than the 20 year-olds. Not to mention they acted better. I had forgotten how catty young girls can be until I watched this show. The claws were out! It was sad to watch these young girls rag on the older ones. Unfortunately, it was all they had to fight with, because the older women were so comfortable in their own skins and each other, they hit it off with Mark right away; whereas the younger girls didn't fare as well. They barely spoke to Mark, and shifted around uncomfortably near each other and sizing up the competition. It was painful to watch.

These past weeks we've seen Mark go on dates with all of the women, sometimes in groups, sometimes solo. I think the 40 year olds did much better in this on all fronts because they didn't get all moon faced and attached and jealous. Amanda, one of the 20-somethings, has all but picked out china patterns for her upcoming nuptials to Mark. I think she might win it all, based on where the show is going, but I REALLY hope that Mark is watching the show as it airs and seeing how she acted during the filming. Then I hope, if he's with her, he drops her like a hot potato. But that's just me.

Rock of Love (with Bret Michaels) is the show to watch of you are looking to laugh at stupid people doing stupid things. And they are stupid. And vapid. Oh, and crazy. Every time I watch this show all I can think is just how proud these girls' parents must be right now. That, and there must be at least 20 strip clubs missing a few dancers. Whether they miss them or not is probably up for debate. But there they are, on my TV screen. Comparing breast sizes. Discussing who is better. Coming up with cutesy (and not so cutesy) names for each others' body parts. Some of them are just plain psycho.


Incredibly psycho.

But!!! Its SO FUN to watch. It's like TV Pringles. You start watching one episode, just to see what the hype is all about, and then you find yourself hours later, still on the sofa, wondering where the last 3 hours went. You definitely don't feel smarter, and you feel like you lost a few brain cells in the transaction.

Bret Michaels hasn't aged well. At. All. Bless his heart, but he needs to donate the big trenchcoat jackets to Goodwill. Especially the one that looks like a big cow. He might get milked if he wears that in public. He might need to lay off the sauce too. Man is looking a bit puffy. And if he tells us one more time that these women he gets to choose from are the Best. Women. Ever. I will have to reach through the TV and strangle him. Granted, there are a few that look like they are smarter than the average bear, but then I have to ask; What the hell are they doing THERE?!? Seriously? Because you know Bret is going to pick either the psycho one or the big breasted blonde. Scientific Fact.

The worst part? You KNOW that after this show is over, and Bret has picked his "tru luve" and ridden off into the sunset, yet another aging rocker will pick up his torch and enter the house. Hopefully the next guy won't feel the need to measure the effect of phone sex by putting a sensor on his Johnson. Although, that WAS pretty funny.

I wonder who it will be. Tommy Lee? Stephen Pearcy? David Coverdale? Leif Garrett?

The possibilities are endless...

and sadly, I'll probably be watching.


Post a Comment

<< Home